Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Mavis: A ‘Be Strong’ Nancy


When it comes to supporting my partner, I try really hard to put on my bat suit and prepare to go into battle with the vicious thugs that come after him - masked as fear, uncertainty and insecurity. Sometimes I defeat them, sometimes I don’t. But I always try, because I’m a ‘Be Strong Nancy’.


That’s what I’ve nicknamed myself in light of the development of this alter-ego; someone that I transform into at least twice a week. The ‘be strong’ part is pretty self-explanatory; I have to take a deep breath, put on a brave face, and show determination, strength and certainty because that is what my partner lacks in these moments and needs to see in me in order to have the faith to locate those things within himself again. I have to stand beside him as we meticulously review his passions and goals, identify the roadblocks that stand in the way and the challenges that slow his progress, and then create plans to navigate around these things so he can get back on course with confidence and achieve his dream.
It takes a lot to be strong like this on a regular basis. The superhero analogy works here because it takes everything out of me emotionally, physically, and mentally to be a Be Strong Nancy – like how Iron Man gets depleted without that weird radioactive fireball in his chest, or how the Hulk…. Okay, so I’m not well-versed on superheroes but I’m pretty sure he at least takes a nap after he goes ape-shit on everyone. So yeah, it’s draining.



The ‘Nancy’ part comes from me just kind of being a wuss at heart. Sure, I can be tough and talk up a big game o’ smack with the best of ‘em, but at the end of the day I’d much rather be kind of a quiet, mousy wallflower… who doesn’t draw attention to myself or start fights or generally stir up chaos and mayhem. I assume that most people are good and don’t screw others over on purpose and yes, I know that is naïve, but it’s the best I’ve got for now. I want to be happy in my life and encourage my partner to be happy as well, so I’m not ready to give in to a life of thinking people are always out to mistreat us simply as a means of being cautious about everything and everyone that we encounter. But it gets increasingly frustrating when you see that some people are perfectly content to abuse others – and to do it often. I don’t understand people like that and I doubt I ever will. I don’t want to. I don’t want to listen to rationalizations about how throwing people under the bus is “what you have to do to get ahead”, accept that passive aggression is “just the way people communicate nowadays” and agree that formulating strategies about how to deal with others somehow makes more sense that just being honest and well-intended and not being a dick all the time. I hate what we’ve become as a society sometimes… a group of toadies that hide in the shadows and launch attacks on our peers and wait for shit to blow up so we can either point and laugh or shake our heads in shame, like the way we choose to treat people has nothing to do with the fact that good people with good ideas and good leadership capabilities fail miserably because they’re not willing to be corrupt in order to succeed.

So until such a time comes when good people can be successful on their merits and by playing fair, I will continue to be the best Be Strong Nancy I can because I owe it to my partner and to the world to do my best to make sure that the good guy wins – at least once or twice.


(This blog was partially inspired by the fact that The Dark Knight Rises comes out really soon which is totally awesome.)

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