When it comes to supporting my partner, I try really hard to
put on my bat suit and prepare to go into battle with the vicious thugs that
come after him - masked as fear, uncertainty and insecurity. Sometimes I defeat
them, sometimes I don’t. But I always try, because I’m a ‘Be Strong Nancy’.
That’s what I’ve nicknamed myself in light of the
development of this alter-ego; someone that I transform into at least twice a
week. The ‘be strong’ part is pretty self-explanatory; I have to take a deep
breath, put on a brave face, and show determination, strength and certainty because
that is what my partner lacks in these moments and needs to see in me in order
to have the faith to locate those things within himself again. I have to stand
beside him as we meticulously review his passions and goals, identify the
roadblocks that stand in the way and the challenges that slow his progress, and
then create plans to navigate around these things so he can get back on course with
confidence and achieve his dream.
It takes a lot to be strong like this on a regular basis.
The superhero analogy works here because it takes everything out of me
emotionally, physically, and mentally to be a Be Strong Nancy – like how Iron
Man gets depleted without that weird radioactive fireball in his chest, or how
the Hulk…. Okay, so I’m not well-versed on superheroes but I’m pretty sure he at
least takes a nap after he goes ape-shit on everyone. So yeah, it’s draining.
The ‘Nancy’ part comes from me just kind of being a wuss at
heart. Sure, I can be tough and talk up a big game o’ smack with the best of ‘em,
but at the end of the day I’d much rather be kind of a quiet, mousy wallflower…
who doesn’t draw attention to myself or start fights or generally stir up chaos
and mayhem. I assume that most people are good and don’t screw others over on
purpose and yes, I know that is naïve, but it’s the best I’ve got for now. I
want to be happy in my life and encourage my partner to be happy as well, so I’m
not ready to give in to a life of thinking people are always out to mistreat us
simply as a means of being cautious about everything and everyone that we
encounter. But it gets increasingly frustrating when you see that some people
are perfectly content to abuse others – and to do it often. I don’t understand
people like that and I doubt I ever will. I don’t want to. I don’t want to
listen to rationalizations about how throwing people under the bus is “what you
have to do to get ahead”, accept that passive aggression is “just the way
people communicate nowadays” and agree that formulating strategies about how to
deal with others somehow makes more sense that just being honest and
well-intended and not being a dick all the time. I hate what we’ve become as a
society sometimes… a group of toadies that hide in the shadows and launch
attacks on our peers and wait for shit to blow up so we can either point and
laugh or shake our heads in shame, like the way we choose to treat people has
nothing to do with the fact that good people with good ideas and good
leadership capabilities fail miserably because they’re not willing to be
corrupt in order to succeed.
So until such a time comes when good people can be
successful on their merits and by playing fair, I will continue to be the best
Be Strong Nancy I can because I owe it to my partner and to the world to do my
best to make sure that the good guy wins – at least once or twice.
(This blog was partially inspired by the fact that The Dark Knight Rises comes out really soon which is totally awesome.)
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